Similar to a job interview, a date should be used as a screening process to determine if both you and he have the same objective in mind and would be compatible. Implementing the following six steps will allow you to immediately weed out less suitable men and stay focused on attracting what you really want in a man and a relationship.
1. Determine what you really want in a relationship before you begin dating.
1. Determine what you really want in a relationship before you begin dating.
Identify your main objective for dating. If what you really want is a long-term relationship, and he is interested in something more casual, don't compromise. Be honest with yourself about what you really desire and what he's really after. Don't try to make a casual interest on his part into something more than what it is. This will ultimately lead to disappointment and disillusionment. Accept him for who he is and keep looking.
2. Determine what you really want in a man before you begin dating.
Assess what primary qualities and character traits the man would need to possess for the type of relationship you're seeking. Keep in mind that the type of qualities that may suffice for a casual involvement may not be adequate for a more serious, long-term commitment. Be careful not to settle or get sidetracked by a man who does not exhibit a majority of the qualities and traits you require for the sake of having a relationship. Don't try make a guy into someone he's not in an attempt to satisfy your agenda. This will inevitably lead to resentment and contempt on his part. Make the extra effort to keep looking for the man who intrinsically possesses the character and personality that genuinely resonates with you.
3. Set boundaries before the date begins
Establishing a minimum criteria for how you expect to be treated on a date is essential because it sets the stage for how you expect to be treated for the duration of the relationship. Inappropriate behavior on a date includes: showing up late, speaking on the cell phone instead of providing you with his undivided attention, insulting you and others, combing the venue for other women and flirting with the staff. If your date exhibits behavior that you deem unacceptable and inappropriate, simply cut the date short and move on. Men who are disrespectful are a waste of time and not worth dating.
4. Protect your interest
Unfortunately there are some unscrupulous characters out there looking for women to exploit. Be suspect of men who have these great business propositions, are in need of a place to stay or are otherwise in need of your financial assistance. To these types of men, women who are only too willing to assist them financially are easy prey and can be easily taken advantage of because they are desperate to have a relationship.
5. Be objective about who he really is
Don't come to the table with preconceived notions; be open-minded. Instead of daydreaming about picking out china patterns with this guy after your first encounter, stay in the moment. See the date and him realistically. Every date isn't meant to be a catalyst for a long-term commitment. Some of the guys you date may turn into great friendships or you may learn a particular lesson. Accept the date for what is was meant to be and don't let your sexual attraction to someone skew your ability to think rationally.
6. Date more than one guy during the beginning of the dating process
Keep in mind that dating is not synonymous with having sex . You can date more than one guy at any given time and not have sex with any of them. Also, dating more than one guy during the beginning of the dating process will keep you from becoming fixated on one guy and projecting unrealistic expectations on to him in order make him into what you want. It also lets men know that you have options. If he's serious about being in a more committed relationship with you, he'll make his intentions known. At the end of a date, instead of wondering if he's going to call and ask you out again, assess whether you really want to go out with him again. Be honest with yourself. Did he exhibit the qualities and character you desire in a partner? Did you pickup on something that was off putting or sense that something wasn't quite right? Did he overstep your boundaries? Did you have a good time or do want him to call back because you need validation? Did you enjoy each other's company or was it just a good excuse for you to get out of the house?
Whether you are looking for casual companionship or a more serious involvement, taking time to consider what you require in a relationship before the date will allow you to remain objective, stay focused on your main purpose and maintain control during the dating process.
2. Determine what you really want in a man before you begin dating.
Assess what primary qualities and character traits the man would need to possess for the type of relationship you're seeking. Keep in mind that the type of qualities that may suffice for a casual involvement may not be adequate for a more serious, long-term commitment. Be careful not to settle or get sidetracked by a man who does not exhibit a majority of the qualities and traits you require for the sake of having a relationship. Don't try make a guy into someone he's not in an attempt to satisfy your agenda. This will inevitably lead to resentment and contempt on his part. Make the extra effort to keep looking for the man who intrinsically possesses the character and personality that genuinely resonates with you.
3. Set boundaries before the date begins
Establishing a minimum criteria for how you expect to be treated on a date is essential because it sets the stage for how you expect to be treated for the duration of the relationship. Inappropriate behavior on a date includes: showing up late, speaking on the cell phone instead of providing you with his undivided attention, insulting you and others, combing the venue for other women and flirting with the staff. If your date exhibits behavior that you deem unacceptable and inappropriate, simply cut the date short and move on. Men who are disrespectful are a waste of time and not worth dating.
4. Protect your interest
Unfortunately there are some unscrupulous characters out there looking for women to exploit. Be suspect of men who have these great business propositions, are in need of a place to stay or are otherwise in need of your financial assistance. To these types of men, women who are only too willing to assist them financially are easy prey and can be easily taken advantage of because they are desperate to have a relationship.
5. Be objective about who he really is
Don't come to the table with preconceived notions; be open-minded. Instead of daydreaming about picking out china patterns with this guy after your first encounter, stay in the moment. See the date and him realistically. Every date isn't meant to be a catalyst for a long-term commitment. Some of the guys you date may turn into great friendships or you may learn a particular lesson. Accept the date for what is was meant to be and don't let your sexual attraction to someone skew your ability to think rationally.
6. Date more than one guy during the beginning of the dating process
Keep in mind that dating is not synonymous with having sex . You can date more than one guy at any given time and not have sex with any of them. Also, dating more than one guy during the beginning of the dating process will keep you from becoming fixated on one guy and projecting unrealistic expectations on to him in order make him into what you want. It also lets men know that you have options. If he's serious about being in a more committed relationship with you, he'll make his intentions known. At the end of a date, instead of wondering if he's going to call and ask you out again, assess whether you really want to go out with him again. Be honest with yourself. Did he exhibit the qualities and character you desire in a partner? Did you pickup on something that was off putting or sense that something wasn't quite right? Did he overstep your boundaries? Did you have a good time or do want him to call back because you need validation? Did you enjoy each other's company or was it just a good excuse for you to get out of the house?
Whether you are looking for casual companionship or a more serious involvement, taking time to consider what you require in a relationship before the date will allow you to remain objective, stay focused on your main purpose and maintain control during the dating process.
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